15 Weeks

Pregnancy: 15 weeks  

Weight Gain: 3 pounds 

Sleep: Sleeping so much better now. I'm not sure if it is because John is home or my hormones are leveling out, but I'll take it

  

Gender: Too early to tell

Feeling: Great these last few weeks

Movement: If I lay very still when I go to sleep at night I can feel his/her tiny taps every now and then. I love it!

Belly: I thought I had actually gained more weight than 3 lbs, but I guess it is just distributed differently.

Next Appointment:  November 1st

Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month

October is a big “awareness month” for a lot of causes, the most widely known being Breast Cancer. Yet, many do not know it is also Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. This was officially declared in 1988 by President Ronald Reagan. October 9th – 15th, specifically, is Baby Loss Awareness Week. 

Loss of a child at any stage or age is extremely difficult and I know too many who have lived through this type of pain. For more information on this cause and even ideas on how to comfort someone who has endured a loss, please visit Remembering our Babies

John and I suffered through this type of loss two times and although the immeasurable love I have for my now three children is the center of my life, I still think about the babies we did not get to meet. One day...

Slip Back

Right before they took you away from me, out of me
I felt like we were the same then
I couldn't feel or understand the things around me
You were never given that chance
I want to be numb
I want to not ask "why?"
I want to fill the room at the end of the hall
With teddy bears, soft blankets
And a chair to rock you to sleep in
I want to sing happy birthday each year
Watch you blow out your candles
I want to hear you cry and hold you
Stop your tears
But instead its my cries I hear and
My own tears I cannot stopI Just want to slip back to that place
where I felt I knew you

                                 --Tamara Pedersen

WW | First Look

13 Weeks

Pregnancy: 13 weeks  

Weight Gain: 3 pounds 

Sleep: So so. I get up A LOT to pee already and have had some insomnia. I'm hoping the insomnia will go away now that John is back home

  

Gender: Too early to tell

Feeling: Pretty good overall...the first two/three months were rough

Movement: I have felt the first little flutters! Its no wonder, when I had my first ultrasound s/he was doing somersaults over and over! HA!

Belly: I'm feeling really big for how far along I am. I guess that's what happens when you are stretched out for the third time.

Next Appointment:  November 1st

WW | Family of...5!

2 Months

I told myself I wouldn't do this...the "I can't believe it has been ____ number of months since..." But I really can't believe it. My Dad left this life two months ago and it still just doesn't seem real. In those two short months so many things have happened in my family's life I want to call and talk to him about, send him a text or a quick picture of the kids. The grief is so real that I can't help but count the days, the months. And the holidays too I expect. This month I will celebrate my birthday and for the first time not receive a card filled with sentiments of pride signed "love Dad." In a few months we will celebrate the Holidays and not hear Dad read a Christmas story to the Grandkids or receive a "Happy New Year!" phone call. Just how can that be? I am sure with the passage of time I will stop counting and just be able to remember with love all the memories. Eventually I will be able to look at photos without remembering his suffering and our family's loss. But for now, it hurts and I miss him so much.

First Day of Homeschool

"The A says 'ah,' the A says 'ah,' every letter makes a sound, the A says 'ah'!

Apologies in advance if you continue to have that song ringing through your ears the rest of the day...I know I did. But you know what? I love it. I have been terrified nervous about this day for months. I have been worrying myself to death over how I would start homeschooling the kids and how they would react. And you know what? they LOVED it. And so did I! I can do this!

I'm not going to get into a debate here about homeschool versus public or private school. I know  awesome homeschooled people and amazing traditionally schooled folks (myself included). And on top of that, I know unbelievable homeschooling mommies and just as many working and stay at home moms who do not homeschool. Everyone is different and isn't that great? I am beginning down the road of Homeschooling because John and I have prayed about it and it is what is best for our family...right now.

So today we started a preK program loosely following the Letter of the Week curriculum from Confessions of a Homeschooler. With my own stuff mixed in (thank you Pinterest.) A lot will be review for Nicolaus since he went to preschool last year. My goal is to have both he and Carleigh up to speed to begin a Kindergarten curriculum next year. Nicolaus is showing pre-reading interest so I plan on working on that with him also.

Hopefully you will enjoy coming along with us on our Homeschool adventure as the three of us learn together. Below is just the start of what we did today. If you are a homeschooling mom and have any tips or tricks to share, please do! And I appreciate any and all prayers for our family as we head down this road.